Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Pork Loin with Parsnip and Apple Mash

I wouldn't say that I'm a reserved person but I don't like expressing strong emotions.  I always tell myself that I'm just being a drama queen and that whatever it is that I am feeling will simply be amplified if I were to actually show it.  So when I'm upset, I tell myself that I'm not.  I tell myself that whatever reason that's causing me to feel like this is not a legitimate reason and that I am strong enough to overcome it.  Because whatever it is, it's small, insignificant and stupid.  It's not a legitimate reason.  Me being upset over my little mundane problems is an insult to people who actually have real problems.  I refuse to feel these things and I refuse to let these things affect me.  I feel like if I'm consciously aware of this, if I just keep telling myself this, then I won't feel anything.

I don't like sharing very personal things on my blog because I live under the impression that my friends actually read it lol.  But. I don't know.  I read a friend's blog post recently and it made me reflect on my own situation.  I thought, maybe writing about it would help.  God knows this isn't the right place -- a public food blog.  People, friends -- they come here to read about food and wonderful things.  Not about a sentimental undergrad's feelings.  Let me clarify, this isn't about letting my friends read it to gain some sort of pity, no.  I don't want it, I don't deserve it.  Again, there are people with bigger problems.  I remember when my 2-year-long relationship ended with my boyfriend in high school.  I remember just staying in bed for days.  I suppose I look back on it like those annoying parents, I was just a stupid teenage girl.  I guess I'm hoping I will soon look back on this with the same view.

The thing every girl hears after a break up is how wonderful she is.  How the guy was an idiot and that she'll find better guys.  That's all you hear.  Realistically, we all know that obviously we'll find someone else. In fact, there are probably even more compatible people around.  After a break up, it's not the fear of dying as a lone woman with 5 cats, but the immediate feeling of loneliness that's terrifying.  It's all so cheesy, I know.  But when you're with someone for long enough, they do become a part of you, and when you suddenly lose them, you're alone.  It's a shocking feeling, really.  It's so strong, and it hits you so fast and so hard.  So unexpectedly.

You could have a bonfire with your girlfriends where you burn the guy's photos and b*tch about all living things with penises.  You could grab a bottle of vodka and hook up with random guys.  You could stay in bed and be a nuisance to society.  I deal with my emotions by cooking.  I feel like the kitchen's the only place where I'm okay with being alone.  It's okay.  I'm fine.
Pork is great with apples, and I just love parsnips (check out the parsnip pie).  So here's an idea for a nice quick lunch.

1/2 apple, peeled and chopped
1 medium parsnip, peeled and chopped
a nob of butter
a little bit of milk
2 pork loin steaks
a sprig of fresh rosemary

Steam the apple and parsnip until tender, mash with a nob of butter and with some milk to loosen it up.  Season, put through a mesh strainer for a finer texture.
Rub the pork loin with olive oil, salt and pepper.  Have the pan smoking hot and put in your pork loins.  Split the rosemary sprig in half, and have each half on a pork loin.  Wait for two minutes before flipping it over and letting it cook for a further 2 minutes (for pork loins about 1.5cm thick).
Serve by placing the pork loins on top of the mash.

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